First, recognize that most people are conditioned to react negatively, at some level or another, whenever they are confronted by a negative situation. Suffering from negative thoughts is an emotional pattern that affects individuals worldwide, because the world conditions people to think negatively. (See ‘Your brain is wired to think negatively’ ) So when two people who have been conditioned to react negatively become a couple, they react by arguing and fighting whenever something negative happens to them. This isn’t what you want in a relationship. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to train your thoughts to respond in a more positive way when something negative happens before you get into a relationship. (See “Train Your Thoughts To Be Positive” ) That way, you will be a worthy partner and you will be ready to find a positive life-partner to share a life of contentment.
Second, when you think you have found a potential partner, give them a ‘positive-partner’ test. Create a negative situation to observe how they respond. As an example, contact your potential partner and suggest meeting for dinner at your favorite restaurant, and then show-up late. If that potential partner reacts by ‘screaming and hollering’ at you (verbally abusive), your red-flags should go up. Recognize this is a negative trained behavior pattern that will continuously be repeated in a relationship. However, if that person asks for an explanation and then says you “caused me to worry so next time call me“, green flags should wave because this is a positive trained behavior pattern that you want in a relationship..
When you are ready to have a long-term, intimate relationship, deliberately seek out a partner who is as positive, or more positive, than you are. When two people, each with a negative trained mindset become a couple, they resolve most negative situations by responding in a negative way. They will argue and fight until one partner says, “That’s it! I want out of this relationship! All we do is argue and fight and it’s all your fault.” When two people, each with a more positive trained mindset, become a couple, they resolve most negative situations by responding in a positive, compassionate way. They won’t be arguing and fighting. Then one day you will realize what a wonderful, loving relationship you are in and you will feel blessed because you are living a life of contentment.