Whether one is physically abused, sexually abused or emotionally abused, it kills the victim’s spirit. I was abused and subconsciously I was afraid, angry, and confused. I became my own worst enemy by destroying my relationships with others, wanting to control the situation to prevent further hurt and pain. I thought if I controlled the situation(s), then I could prevent myself from being hurt emotionally. What I didn’t know was that the pain was so deep that I was behaving erratically. Trying to blend-in, but afraid to get close. No matter the form of the abuse, our spirit is reduced until it no longer exists. We no longer care about ‘going along’. If there is a God, then this is when (s)he has to be crying. We have given-up on ourselves and lost hope. What’s the use? It doesn’t matter. You must recognize that no one cares because they are focused on their own life. This is your life. Others are too busy caring about their own life, just like you are so focused on your own life, that you’re not thinking about their life. This is when you must reach that point of ‘dissatisfaction to action’. Are you going to take charge of your life? If you’re gunna give it one last college try, that means giving it your all. No holding back for safety. It’s all in; or get out! If necessary, seek professional psychological help to resolve any issues holding you back. You can do it and change your life for the better, but you must be committed because you will be challenged by your old ‘negative conditioned responses’. But, like everything in life, it gets easier with practice. Just don’t give-up on yourself. I wasted a lot of time by going to therapy, reading self-help books and studying philosophy, looking for answers outside myself that didn’t exist. But it was all necessary to get me to understand and accept that the problem was within. I was my own worst enemy because of the way that I had conditioned my brain.
( See Understanding Neuroplascity). You can condition you brain to be positive, but it takes commitment. Be the observer of your thoughts so you can catch yourself thinking negative thoughts; then force yourself to come-up with a positive alternative thought; learn to wallow in those new thoughts. Not only on the thought itself, but imagine the emotional feelings that go with that new thought. Make it as good as you can because it’s creating new neuropathways in your brain. Wear those pathways as deep and make them as strong as you can, so they can become a dominate habit in your ‘new’ life. You will feel ’re-born’, but it’s only ’a better version’ of you. The one with your spirit alive and well. The Power is within You!! Just do it!