Whether one is physically abused, sexually abused or emotionally abused, it kills the victim’s spirit. I was abused and subconsciously I was afraid, angry, and confused. I became my own worst enemy by destroying my relationships with others, wanting to control the situation to prevent further hurt and pain. I thought if I controlled the situation(s), then I could prevent myself from being hurt emotionally. What I didn’t know was that the pain was so deep that I was behaving erratically. Trying to blend-in, but afraid to get close. No matter the form of the abuse, our spirit is reduced until it no longer exists. We no longer care about ‘going along’. If there is a God, then this is when (s)he has to be crying. We have given-up on ourselves and lost hope. What’s the use? It doesn’t matter. You must recognize that no one cares because they are focused on their own life. This is your life. Others are too busy caring about their own life, just like you are so focused on your own life, that you’re not thinking about their life. This is when you must reach that point of ‘dissatisfaction to action’. Are you going to take charge of your life? If you’re gunna give it one last college try, that means giving it your all. No holding back for safety. It’s all in; or get out! If necessary, seek professional psychological help to resolve any issues holding you back. You can do it and change your life for the better, but you must be committed because you will be challenged by your old ‘negative conditioned responses’. But, like everything in life, it gets easier with practice. Just don’t give-up on yourself. I wasted a lot of time by going to therapy, reading self-help books and studying philosophy, looking for answers outside myself that didn’t exist. But it was all necessary to get me to understand and accept that the problem was within. I was my own worst enemy because of the way that I had conditioned my brain.
( See Understanding Neuroplascity). You can condition you brain to be positive, but it takes commitment. Be the observer of your thoughts so you can catch yourself thinking negative thoughts; then force yourself to come-up with a positive alternative thought; learn to wallow in those new thoughts. Not only on the thought itself, but imagine the emotional feelings that go with that new thought. Make it as good as you can because it’s creating new neuropathways in your brain. Wear those pathways as deep and make them as strong as you can, so they can become a dominate habit in your ‘new’ life. You will feel ’re-born’, but it’s only ’a better version’ of you. The one with your spirit alive and well. The Power is within You!! Just do it!
Thoughts
Now Here’s An Addiction I Wish Would Spread!
If you read the article ’Negative Attitude Is A Conditioned Response’, you will understand why ‘negativity’ has become a dominate habit for many people. Negativity is showered upon us day after day, that after a while it becomes a strong conditioned response habit from the constant repetition; and there is usually no positive counter-balance. After awhile, the habit is so strong that it can become a dominate, controlling habit. And that hurts both the individual and his dealings with others. There’s an alternative, regardless of your level of negativity. First, you should recognize that you abuse yourself emotionally when you think negative thoughts. And understand by thinking negative thoughts, you strengthen the negative neuron-pathways in your brain. So here’s the alternative, the secret to Happiness & Success. Once you heighten your awareness of your negative thoughts by being the observer of your thoughts, you can then choose to respond more positively. At first, it won’t be easy. It’s like breaking any drug habit. But, once you start choosing to think and act in a positive way, that behavior pattern becomes a new conditioned response that continues to get stronger and stronger. After awhile, your neuron-pathways become so positively conditioned, that you have acquired a new dominate habit of thinking and acting in the most positive way that you can. Living examples with this positive dominate habit are the monks like the Dali Lama. And that dominate habit gets stronger as you continue to think and act in positive ways. Recognize that ‘positive’ is a synonym for ‘love’. You now have a dominate, controlling habit of being positive and loving. And it feels good! Now, that’s an addiction I wish would spread!
Lesson #1
We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. It is through our mistakes that we learn the most difficult lessons. Accept that you were wrong and move on. You handled it the best way that you could at the time. The secret of emotionally intelligent individuals is that they learn from the mistake and make adjustments so the mistake won’t be repeated again. ”I wish the original mistake didn’t happen, but it did and I can’t change that. I apologize for my part. I’m ready to move on.” Period.
How Do You End A Relationship In A Positive Way?
Start by saying to your partner, “We need to talk. I want to share my heart with you.” Then when you are settled for a discussion, start by saying “I’m unhappy in this relationship and I’m sure you are aware of it. I want to end this relationship as amicably as possible. Can you agree to that?” You’ve stated your feelings and hope for the best.
How Can I Be Happy & Positive When I Caught My Partner With Another Person?
Yes, you will feel devastated and hurt when you discover your loved-one was not faithful; however, you do not want to react in a negative, hostile way that would hurt someone and get yourself in trouble. Ask yourself, “How do I want to respond to this”, and recognize the relationship is ended and you want to walk away. This is an opportunity to find a new partner who is worthy of your love. Acting out in a hostile manner will not help or change the situation and would only make your life worse. Never accept any abuse in a relationship, whether it is emotional or physical. This is your one and only life experience. Strive to make it enjoyable.